So, I’m on a city bus leaving my low-paid job on the way to the crammed apartment I share with a leaky ceiling and centipedes. To pass the time, I’m reading a Vanity Fair article about Levi Johnston, the dude who impregnated Sarah Palin’s teenage daughter. Apparently Levi, who had a mullet before John McCain’s campaign staff intervened, is being offered TV spots and modeling gigs due to his newfound fame.
And undoubtedly Levi, who named his baby after his favorite brand of hockey equipment, will get a book deal while I, a woman who has struggled fifteen years to get some writing props, is sharing a seat with a smelly guy shouting obscenities into his cell phone.
Levi Johnston should be sitting on a city bus reading about me in Vanity Fair. Of course, the meathead probably never even knew the magazine existed until he was fortunate enough to knock up Palin spawn.
There could be two reasons why this is my life. One, I live in an alternate universe. Through some supernatural error, I was placed in this reality where I’m stuck on a bus while Levi Johnston pops a bottle of champagne in a limo on his way to the Playboy mansion.
The other reason could be that life is unfair. But I don’t like this reason, it makes one cynical. I want to believe there’s an all-knowing universe keeping those of us who are decent, gifted and relentless in pursuit of our goals from falling through some metaphysical crack. This “life is unfair” thinking might make me want to throw in the towel, and I’m not ready to do that right yet.
But the world has a way of messing with your optimism. My pal Eric just got laid off from a company for which he was bringing in serious bank, so they could split his job between two minimally paid nimrods. My girl Liz supported her aging boyfriend through a near-fatal disease and he thanked her by running off with a twenty-year-old who thinks The Hague is a British rock band. My friends Doug and Jackie are crazy about each other but can’t make a baby, while those bizarre Gosselin creatures persistently harass us from the covers of magazines.
In this universe, mean people get loving romantic partners, crappy writers make the Times best-seller list and conniving, self-aggrandizing boobs become millionaires on the reality shows playing non-stop on the TVs at my gym. Then, at the end of my work day, I get to read about Levi Johnston’s good fortune and find out how the woman who almost became vice-president of my country named her newborn Trig Paxson Van Palin. After Van Halen.
So, I’m going with the alternate universe theory. Somewhere, there’s another universe where only intelligent, compassionate people run for public office. Where good work and talent is rewarded. Where kind women get good boyfriends. Where everyone gets health care and fulfilling jobs. Where television doesn’t suck.
In this other universe, I wouldn’t really need to be profiled in Vanity Fair, though the opportunity would be lovely. My only hope would be to see myself, along with all the other sad sacks still plugging away at their dreams, finally get the lucky break we deserve. All I have to do is find a rip in the fabric of this universe so I can get to the other one.
Who’s with me?
Life is ironic isn’t it? I keep telling myself everything happens for a reason.. Much of the time the reason isn’t clear though is it? Hard work and sacrifice makes us appreciate the things that we have though.
Keep you chin up Laura
Todd
I read an article about him in GQ, before he hit the talk shows. He seemed to be the marionette of opprotunists–people who saw that his connection (however dubious) to the Pallins could be exploited. From the article I read, he appeared not to have the wherewithal, education or inclination to get to where he is today without the help of unscrupulous, ambitious media people.
I wouldn’t lament that you’ve not received the same exposure as him, because he is being promoted for his class and he doesn’t realize that he’s being patronized for being poor and uncultured. It’s a sad reality about our society that we would rather hear about the Levi’s of the world rather than the people of higher intellectual, moral and artistic standing. But who has time for that? We can only digest Levi sized bits, not Laura sized; the latter are too big and require too much intellectual masticating. Besides, would you really want the people who have marched Levi to the Ricky Lake show to promote you? Would they honor and cherish the words you have written? No, they would cut it into Levi sized bits for the masses to nibble on like chex-mix. Being a celebrity is as much a job as being a writer. Historically writers don’t want Levi recognition, they want recognition from deeper thinking establishments. So, I guess the question is, do you want to be a celebrity or a writer. You could attain recognition riding on Levi’s coattails, or rather on the back of his snowmobile.
Perhaps the act of dreaming is fulfilling in a way that is different from the attaining of dreams. I think when we stop dreaming, we stop hoping and when we stop hoping we stop living. I’m sure even Levi’s camouflage draped dreams have some hopes for the future.
“by running off with a twenty-year-old who thinks The Hague is a British rock band.”
I love this line. I love the whole entry but I really, really love this line.
yep yep. I’m with you!
When it seems life make no sense, come to the hobo jungle! Join us for some hobo stew fresh out of a steaming hot garbage drum boiling with dumpster treasures. With 8 million out of work your boy friend is in a big club getting bigger.
While I think most of us can surely relate, and think in these terms sometimes, even regularly… you have to believe in yourself, and believe things will work out.
In the immortal words of Steve Perry “Don’t Stop Believin’”!
Compared to other parts of the world, we live in a paradise of sorts. We have opportunity to do better, we have the ability to work, food, shelter, running water and electricity.
We take far too much for granted.
But AIM HIGH, and keep fighting for what you want, and what you believe in… I still think the good people will have good things happen to them.
NO one!!!
I KNEW it! Now it all makes sense! Please take me with you! I have gas money, I can help with driving, and I’ll let you pick the radio stations!