I wonder what strategy of marital therapy they used to build a strong and happy bond. To balance the fairness of contribution and define roles within the family unit.

Frank makes a good point in that as a society is less subsistance-based and more affluent, comfortable, and frankly spoiled, do we have time to concern ouselves so much with the finer nuances and annoyances of relationships.

Back when separation from the tribe, clan, or homestead meant death by starvation, predators, or hypothermia, I am sure few spouses left to “find themselves”, or because “they just werent happy anymore, or were simply “unfulfilled”.

Yet I am sure that modern western culture and our divorce rates are nothing new. I wonder what it was like in the hey day of Rome. I also wonder why Jesus taught on why divorce was only to be for infidelity. Why would he have made the distinction if divorce for other reasons had not been widespread?

Yet, this is the culture we are in. So we may as well face up to it and realize what it takes to keep a marriage together here in the third millenium.

I certainly know what it takes to get it wrong. And even though it sucked to have one go off the rails, I sure like it when things are going well.

This is indeed the new reality… as I see it. Fair or unfair. Spolied or not. This is it.

Ciao.

Chaz

Amazing how our culture has served us up so much “ego” food that we have lost who we really are. In fact, so many of us never know who we really are.

So up pops the Self-Help industry, Pop-pshychology, Dr. Phil, Dr. Dyer, Dr. Laura, Pfizer, Johnson & Johnson, Merk and a zillion forms of spiritualism and philosophy to help us wade through the ego that we built in an effort to help us discover our simple authenticity…. which I presume is what is meant by the “essential self”?

Crazy world we live in eh?

Yet, two (ancient?) philosophers, Confucsious and Jung seem to have seen this happening even in their days.

How far have we really advanced as a species and culture?

No wonder “dating” has gone from a simple, pleasant experience to a high-risk venture. I am a 40-something married to a 30-something and we both experienced some of the sickest complexities in the years leading up to our meeting.

We also have friends and family in their teens, 20-s, 50-s, and 60-s, who all find the same.

Have we become so complex that we are scarcely mergable into loving functioning relationships?

The book you mention sounds interesting. Cutting through much of the crap and getting down to simple authenticity.

I recently read a book that documented the key to a lasting relationship is simple, everyday “kindness” to one another. Written by a PhD, nonetheless.

Ciao.

Chaz