A man on the street accidentally winked at me. He must have had something in his eye, I know the wink wasn’t for me. But it got me thinking.
I miss flirting. I miss the fine art of seduction. I miss feeling the dizzying chemistry between me and a man linger long enough for the tension to swell. I long for the days when men wanted to work a little harder to get a gal’s attention and women knew how to beguile. Back when the journey to bed was almost as intoxicating as the arrival.
A wink. A light touch on your back as your paths cross. A man watching your lips move when you speak. I’d take up smoking just to have a guy light my cigarette. Those are the most alluring gestures because there’s mystery and eroticism in them. Romantic foreplay, if you will. One of the sexiest moments I’ve had all year was catching the object of my desire staring at me from the other side of a room. The whole world was buzzing around us, but it was just me and him locked in a stare.
Having a dude ogle your cleavage and tell you how “wicked hot” you are within minutes of meeting you just doesn’t cut it anymore. Nowadays, the mating game is all about Cuervo shots, witless come ons and grinding each other to shitty Justin Timberlake songs. I’m glad we don’t live in the goofy, puritanical ‘50s anymore but I don’t want to live in porno America either.
I think I’ll build a time machine and go back to the ‘20s. I’ll smoke cigarettes out of holders and do the Charleston. Instead of crotch-length mini skirts and thongs, I’ll wear shimmery dresses that hug my body with garters and stockings hidden beneath. A man with bedroom eyes will watch me from across the room, he’ll send over a cocktail and wait for my cue to approach. He’ll say something like, “do you believe in love at first sight” and I’ll reply, “I don’t know, but it sure saves a lot of time.” Instead of grinding him to Timberlake, I’ll sashay across the floor and let him follow my hips with his eyes. At the end of the night, we’ll share a kiss so full of promise we’ll be eager to see each other again.
Now, that’s what I call bringing sexy back.
You might have been born in the wrong era… or lived in a previous era in another life… but I don’t think you’d be able to deal with the societal norms of that day. You’d have probably had to write under LARRY WARRELL!
It’s true, I miss that too. The flirting and the men working hard to get you fall in love. These days too many crazy stuff. I remember in my middle school year, flirting was fun and the guy knows that you want him and etc.
Nice Topic.
@ aherr – remember the thrill of that teenage flirting! Oh yes, the playfulness mixed with anticipation and hopefulness was key. There was a vulnerability to it that is harder to have as an adult. I have worked to redeveloped that kind of flirtation with my long-term love. Yes, he does occasionally look at my cleavage and tell me I am smoking hot…(after all, he is a dude)…however, the romance comes back when we flirt. Sometimes it can be a little corny, but it’s more tender.
I’m probably being chauvinistic when I say this, but it seems to me that women are the sexual gatekeepers in most relationships–that is, men make advances, and it falls to you to determine how far you’re going to allow them to go (in terms of emotional intimacy, physicality, etc.). It seems to me, then, that you have the power to lead the way here. Behave with a certain level of class and distinction, and don’t give the time of day to men who fail to behave appropriately. If women as a whole demand more from men, then men will learn to go the extra mile or go home.
People are fundamentally lazy–if all a guy has to do to get you into bed is buy you shots and grind on you, then don’t expect him to climb mountains, or fight dragons, or banter wittily. Make him work for it, though, and you might be surprised what even a ‘typical guy’ is capable of.
Just my two cents–straighten me out if you think I’m grossly out on line.
Nick, thanks for the comment. Really appreciated what you had to say.
Nick, couldn’t agree more. It’s a shame most women have forgotten that they have the power to civilize men.
You are trying to start a riot in this quick-and-fast dating times, Laura.
Flirting is fading fast and seduction is becoming a lost art. Most people would think of such urbane acts as tame. I have hopes that there are still people who value a bit of restraint and teasing.
But reality telsl me that I have more in common with that ant, trying to move that rubber tree plant.