So, there’s a handsome guy sitting a few seats away from me on the subway. He’s got a polished, suited up Javier Bardem look about him. At the station, the man steps off the train, follows me up the escalator and tells me in gorgeously accented English, “your hair is beautiful.” He says he’s from Costa Rica and owns his own cleaning business. Barely can I get a word in edge-wise as he’s boasting about the luxury hotels and skyscrapers his “people” clean, the mammoth initial investments he procured, the colossal profit he now makes.
Though I’ve hardly said a word, the man wants to know me better and asks for a way to make contact. Because he’s left his cell at home, he says he’ll write down my number then proceeds to pull out a wad of hundred dollar bills from his pocket. Flabbergasted, I watch as he writes my (fake) number on Ben Franklin’s mug.
Eagerly, I make my way to work to share the encounter with my colleagues but one of them has a story that trumps mine. Seems a guy at a bar once peeled a fifty off his own roll of bills, wrote his number on it then slid it across the table and instructed her to call.
Immediately, I regretted giving Mr. Costa Rica a fake number. As a writer, I mourn lost opportunities to unravel the thinking behind kooky situations. If I had the chance, I’d have asked our good man what guys like him expect from these money shows. Did Costa Rica truly think this the best way to plant the seeds of love? Does the unfortunate fellow think money is all he has to offer a woman or does he actually want the kind of girl who’d only dig him for his cash? And what kind of shallow wench would she be?
Maybe when men who’ve never had money finally get some, they think flaunting it is the only way to attract a higher echelon of women. Although, what would make Señor Money Bags think that I, in my second-hand dress and CVS flip flops, was from that echelon?
Whenever men do weird things to appeal to women – feign indifference, brag about work, yell out of car windows to gals whose asses “be tight” – I assume the approach works on some women, otherwise they wouldn’t make the effort. So there must be women out there who say, “criminy, look at all that money” and go right for the guy’s crotch.
I wish I was impressed by money. I’ve got student loans to pay, exotic cities to visit, beach houses to live in while writing Great American novels. Being impressed by men with creative talent and personality may only get me a dingy apartment and a trip to Cleveland. And, dang it, I’ve already been there.
An ex-friend of mine was determined to marry a rich man. At an Obama fundraiser in ’08, she even went so far as to flirt with a member of the Kennedy clan who was speaking at the event. Admittedly, if I was the type to go for money, it would be Kennedy kind of money; that fabulous, East Coast liberal wealth, or even better, old money European riches. This way, I could travel, send my kids to good schools and spend my leisure time building charity organizations in small African villages. All I’d have to do is lounge at the compound and cultivate an addiction to pills.
Alas, as I told my friend at the fundraiser, making eyes at a Kennedy will not lift us commoners from the fray. I guess I’ll have to stick with cleaning moguls still forced to ride the subway. But perhaps these lesser rich boys would impress me if they tried something more useful to flirt with than money. Write your digits on the new Franzen novel or peel off a Whole Foods coupon from your cash wad and put your number there. If you’re like most guys I’ve dated, you could simply scribble it onto an unemployment check or the back of a comic book you don’t want any girl to know you read.
My colleague said her mother has a superstition about taking money from men. When you do, mom says, it steals your spirit. I may not have my beach house, but I’d give it up to keep my soul.
I’m with you, I’d rather keep my soul! I’m sure there are many that would disagree with you (us) though. This is why sites like SugarDaddy.com exist and probably why so many men feel the compunction to “flash the cash” in their pursuit of women. I’ve been on dating sites where the guy’s profile pix consisted of him (fuzzy and out of focus) standing in front of his A. Sports car B. Huge house C. boat, etc. …I tend to go for the profiles where he’s just upclose and smiling…:)
I love this one for both the delivery and the sentiments.
I dated a guy, for a few days, who complained and complained about gold diggers and shallow women, but he always accidentally mentioned his six-figure salary and Lamborghini. Growing up, I would see my dad only buy things that were truly interesting or had some deeper value regardless of the price tag. Apparently this concept was foreign to Mr. Sixfigures because when I asked him about his interest in Lamborghinis, he was at a loss for words. It ended before it began after he admitted that he was a manipulative liar, did it professionally for a while, and liked being that way.
I agree with the idea that guys who flash cash, or work solely toward becoming that guy, are basically saying that they have nothing else to offer a woman. You’ll hear them complain that money is all that women want, and that women don’t appreciate personality, character, etc. But to me, that sounds like a lame excuse for a man who has an unattractive character, the personality of a potato, or is an all-around douche.
Bookeditors – so true! This is probably unfair of me to say, but I think the bigger a man’s car / boat, the smaller his personality. Although, admittedly, sometimes I think my life would be easier if I could be a bit more shallow and go for the cash.
Karmella, I figured you’d have had similar stories. And I love “the personality of a potato,” although I’ve met potatoes with fairly decent personalities.
Thanks for the comments!
Women who marry for money are usually happy for the first few years…because they are having so much fun spending the money! However, after some years go by they realize money was all he had to offer; soon the thrill of the spend diminishes and unhappiness begins to set in.
I have two girlfriends who married for money. The first is ten years in to her marriage…her and her husband have been cheating on each other for years…but neither will break it off… she doesn’t want to lose the “money” and he doesn’t want to have to give her “half of the money”.
The second friend is only a year into the marriage. So far, she’s having fun spending the money…he seems to be having fun watching her spend it. I wonder how long before they both realize the money is the only thing that seems to be keeping them together! Hopefully in this economy he doesn’t lose his shirt!!!
Thanks, Jenna. You know, I think there just isn’t anything anyone should do for money. Except work!
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had a nose turned up at me when a date or potential date, or whoever it may be found out that I worked in the lowly non-profit world. Or saw my out of date clothing or took a gander at my old car.
Materialism is a disease and in the end you’re right, I’d rather face the rejection then play the money game and lose my soul. Anyway I figure it helps me to weed out the scum.
As always thanks for another great post.
Well… that was….
It seemingly is something that works for him. I guess, for him, it’s a hit or miss type of thing?
I don’t know. I can’t get into the heads of guys like that.
True, Duane, it goes both ways! Guys who try to get women by flaunting their wealth, is as obnoxious as women who won’t give a guy a chance unless he’s got mucho cash.
Money is the ultimate, er, weeder outer!
well money can’t buy happiness. . .I am so mad bout women who will just marry a guy for money and they let their happiness suffer. But I want to understand them why they’re doing this. Maybe it’s a call of hardship?I don’t know. . .