The marketers behind The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men* sent me an advanced copy of the book in hopes I would write a review. After taking a gander, I can tell you this: if you’re into guides that refer to breasts as pom poms and coin phrases like “mantastic,” this is the book for you.
Part travel guide, part dating manual, Single Girl’s is stuffed with giddy anecdotes about the author, a pretty Vanderbilt grad, and her friends as they tour European bars, clubs, ski mountains and beaches in search of studs to love forever and/or scoop for the night. Cultural tidbits are offered on men from each country – Portuguese dudes are hairy, Brits are shy – and techniques are revealed, including the “Man Meeting Dance Formula” which begins by placing yourself near your target, staring until he’s forced to look back at you then dazzling him with one of your sexiest moves.
Obviously, this book isn’t for the New Yorker reader hoping to land a poet sipping cognac outside the Louvre. It’s for those young chick gaggles we see every weekend wobbling through bars on six-inch heels, sipping pomegranate cocktails and recounting episodes of The Bachelorette. Those gals would dig this book, so I highly recommend it to them. But first, a little criticism.
Firstly, meeting European men is far from difficult. These guys see gals like the author and her chicas arrive in Europe and proceed to become sloppy drunk giggle fiends who screw everything with an accent. Thus, European men think American women are easy and so, are drawn to them like hound dogs on a rutting poodle.
Secondly, though I’m sure the author is lovely, she doesn’t come off well in the book. Stories like “When I Had a Song Dedicated to Me” and tales of bowling over Euro dudes with her killer looks make her sound like your snotty friend who hogs the mirror and thinks you’re lucky to be in her company. She even advises readers to avoid getting a “bubble butt” by doing Pilates. Meanie. Plus, she once ordered ketchup to go with lobster, which disqualifies her from being a legitimate source on just about anything.
There are some silly tips like “flip your hair” and “chew slowly” (because European men appreciate women who savor their meals). But my personal eye-rolling favorite was the suggestion to “catch up on current events” because European men are proud of their cultures. Gee, who would expect these ladies to know what’s happening in the world anyway? They’re only college graduates.
Still, there are good tips that apply to dating anywhere in the world. Though cheesily phrased, the suggestion to “be fast to allure, slow to succumb” may be the best advice to give a young woman today. Hearts are regularly popping across the country as high schoolers, sorority sisters and twentysomething gals are dumped by dudes who don’t want anything serious after these gals so graciously put out. “Hookup culture” has confused too many girls into thinking easy access to booty is the quickest way to a man’s heart. It’s good advice to keep things on simmer for a bit.
The author also tells us a “carefree attitude” is most attractive to dudes across the pond. When you’re away from your own country with its rules and social mores, when you believe any decision made has no consequence in your real life and when rejection from a guy means nothing since you won’t see him ever again, a peculiar sense of confidence permeates your being. And yes, men dig confidence and lightheartedness over the desperation and self-conscious wackiness most women bring to their dating lives. Ladies, try this tip at home.
However, the best tip in the book is also the easiest to execute: stand near the food at parties. All the better if you splash a few drops of beer behind your ears.
As a thirtysomething divorcée who’s already lived in Europe and been married to a European, I don’t have much use anymore for Single Girl’s tips. But a gal gallivanting across Europe post-college with some pals would have quite the adventure testing out the book’s tips and visiting its boy-crammed destinations. Just remember to flip your hair.
And skip the ketchup.
*The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men by Katherine Chloé Cahoon
chew slowly? wow. now that i think about it, i DO remember a group of guys friends at a party talking about how they dig a lady that savours her food and doesn’t chew too fast.
i know you have to be relatively diplomatic and not dis the book too much but chicks like the author make us all look like bunch of f-ing twits and i realize now: it makes me kinda aggressive. i mean really, flip your hair? f- off.
ps. L-Dub rocks my world
Congrats on the invitation to contribute a review. Also, congrats to Ms. Cahoon for getting a talented writer to read her book.
What, no commentary on the Italians? But..but..they’re my faves!
This book sounds as exciting as Snooki’s.
Obviously, you did not read The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European men or your review would not contain so many cruel, blatent misrepresentations. Contrary to your assertion, the author does not refer to breasts as pom poms, she does not drink, she spends an entire chapter advising girls not to become sloppy drunk, and tells them not “screw everything with an accent” as you say (her language is much more polite). If you actually took the time to read her book, you would find that the two of you have many beliefs in common.
I think we should all savor our meals whether we’re trying to land hot Europeans or not.
Joanne, the book says Italian men “are known for wearing button-up shirts with the top three buttons undone, so you can spot an Italian male in any country.” Good luck!
Camille, I did read the book. Perhaps my experiences of life and romance in Europe were simply different than Ms. Cahoon’s. Thanks for stopping by! Come again.
You did quite a humorous hatchet job on The Single Girl’s Guide to Meeting European Men. Too bad for the author the unfattering barbs are not true. Never once does she talk about her “killer looks” as you claim. She is humble and down to earth. In fact, she points out her faults to help other girls avoid them. No girl who “hogs the mirror and thinks you’re lucky to be in her company,” as you depict her, does that.
The Single Girls’ Guide to International VD… Sign me up! *vomits quietly*
Why do I get the feeling Sara and Camille are Ms. Cahoon’s sorority sisters?
Ladies, you may be on Daddy Cahoon’s payroll, and thus forced to defend Princess Barbizon’s literary masterpiece, but that doesn’t mean others are likewise going to fall over themselves praising it. Welcome to the internet. Stay away from 4Chan.
Ms. Cahoon is a moon faced annoyance.
Soon to be the bitter divorcee of a European man who grows tired of her speech impediment and gawking at other guys.
If we ignore her and the book, she might wander away.
Sssh….stay quiet.
Thank you for an enjoyable read! Having just watched all the accompanying promotion videos to the book, I suspect Ms. Cahoon is on the fast track to becoming an internet meme.
Having only watched the videos, I can only comment on their content. However, the author seems to either ignore or downplay the reputation traveling groups of female tourists have in the EU. I unfortunately cannot find a link, but there was fabulous story about five years ago about a group of Venetian men who would alert each other via text when groups of female college-aged tourists arrived. They even had this guide which told them, based on nationality, what they needed to do get laid (e.g. An American will need a gondola ride and dinner …)
To be fair, it works both ways. When my friends from London go to New York, they only have to open their mouths to be surrounded by men.
Nicola, sadly, I agree with you about the kinds of girls European men think these gals are when they travel abroad. I wanted to issue a kind of warning to these gals – have your fun, but don’t fool yourself about how you come across to European men.
And it’s true about Europeans when they visit here. In general, giggly, young girls who travel will always be hounded by horny young locals.
Thanks for your comment!
So does the guide refer to breasts as pom poms??
I haven’t read her book, but the videos are cute. “And I’m chilling by my bike!” That made me an instant fan. I refuse to believe she’s not in on the joke.
(And I have no connection to the author, except that we both like puns with “man” in them.)